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Hello Kitty and...Hooters? [Hello Kitty]
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It's Cold. Time for Hot Panties. [Akihabara]
Let's Learn How To Put On Final Fantasy Make-Up! [Video]
Who Needs Kissing Cosplay Ladies, When There Are Video Games [Video Games]
Darth Vader Invades South Osaka (Noooooooooo!) [Culture Smash]
No, This is the Right Way to do a Japanese Game's Box Art [Xenoblade]
‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ Theatrical Trailer
For those of us not fortunate enough to make it to “The Untold Story Begins” Monday afternoon, Sony has just unleashed the latest trailer for Marc Webb‘s The Amazing Spider-Man. Scheduled for release July 3, the 3D reboot stars Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field and more. But you knew that already. Want to see new footage? Well, stop reading and click away. At two minutes and 30 seconds, it’s worth it.
Here’s the new, theatrical trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man from the film’s official site.
Whoa.
Like you, I just finished watching this too and there’s almost too much to digest. At first glance, some of it certainly looks like Raimi’s films. For example, the swinging through the city and the set pieces high above New York. But the storyline, blending Peter’s parents with Dr. Connors, aka The Lizard, is something new entirely. The aforementioned “Untold Story” as it were.
You also get a sense of Spider-Man’s cockiness, a tease at his chemistry with Gwen Stacey and the pretty spoilerish reveal, I thought, of Spider-Man being unmasked. Even so, it all works quite well.
This also marks the first, official, public reveal of The Lizard. It’s not as much as audiences saw at Comic-Con or Monday’s event but you see that he’s a large, CG character who is pretty nimble and intimidating. That character, as well as the action scenes with the police and more, suggest the scope of the film is much bigger than many of us had anticipated looking at set photos months ago.
Overall, I’m encouraged and excited. It seems like Webb and company have really found a way to take what we all love about Spider-Man and yet isolate it from the films of the previous decade. There’s just so much to dissect in this trailer that I’m sure you’d like to get started. What have you found? What excites you, worries you, and how will this film do just two weeks before The Dark Knight Rises hits theaters?
Ben Hagan's Art From Star Wars, RAGE & More [Fine Art]
Madonna announces 2012 world tour
After performing to over 114 million viewers during Sunday night’s Super Bowl halftime show, Madonna plans to increase that number with what is being billed as her most extensive tour to date, as Billboard points out. In support of her forthcoming twelfth studio LP, MDNA, the Material Girl hits the road on May 29th in Tel Aviv, Israel and will continue her travels through early 2013.
With plans for 90 dates across the globe, Madonna will play territories she hasn’t visited, as well as return to Australia for her first visit in over 20 years. “Of the shows we’re doing, I’d say 25%-30% will be markets she’s never played before,” Arthur Fogel, CEO of Live Nation Global Touring, told Billboard. “There’s still a few left.”
So far, there are 26 dates scheduled in North America for this fall, including stops at Los Angeles’ Staples Center, Chicago’s United Center, and New York’s legendary Yankee Stadium.
Tickets go on sale beginning February 10th in Tel Aviv and the U.K., and on February 13th for North American dates via Ticketmaster and LiveNation. Visit Madonna’s website for specific on-sale dates and other ticketing information.
Consult the full itinerary below, re-watch her Super Bowl performance shortly after, and then plan accordingly. Madonna’s MDNA hits stores March 26th via Live Nation Entertainment/Interscope Records.
Madonna 2012 Tour Dates:
05/29 – Tel Aviv, IR @ Ramat Gam Stadium
06/03 – Abu Dabi @ Yas Arena
06/07 – Istanbul, TR @ Turk Telecom Arena
06/11 – Zagreb, CR @ Maksimir Stadium
06/14 – Milan, IT @ Stadio San Siro
06/16 – Florence, IT @ Stadio Franchi
06/20 – Barcelona, ES @ Palau Sant Jordi
06/24 – Coimbra, PT @ Estadio Cidade de Coimbra
06/28 – Berlin, DE @ O2 Arena
07/02 – Copenhagen, DK @ Parken Stadium
07/04 – Gothenburg, SE @ Ullevi Stadium
07/07 – Amsterdam, NL @ Ziggo Dome
07/12 – Brussels, BE @ Stade Roi-Baudouin
07/14 – Paris, FR @ Stade De France
07/17 – London, UK @ Hyde Park
07/21 – Edinburgh, UK @ Murrayfield Stadium
07/24 – Dublin, IE @ Aviva Stadium
07/29 – Vienna, AT @ Ernst-Happel Stadion
08/01 – Warsaw, PL @ National Stadium
08/07 – Moscow, RU @ Olimpiski Arena
08/08 – St. Petersburg, RU @ SKK Arena
08/12 – Helsinki, FI @ Olympic Stadium
08/15 – Oslo, NO @ Telenor Arena
08/18 – Zurich, CH @ Stadion Letzigrund
08/21 – Nice, FR @ Stade Charles-Erhmann
08/28 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center
08/30 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre
09/01 – Quebec City, QC @ Plains of Abraham Site
09/04 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden
09/06 – New York, NY @ Yankee Stadium
09/10 – Ottawa, ON @ Scotiabank Place
09/12 – Toronto, ON @ Air Canada Centre
09/15 – Atlanta City, NJ @ Boardwalk Hall
09/19 – Chicago, IL @ United Center
09/23 – Washington, DC @ Verizon Center
09/29 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena
10/02 – Seattle, WA @ Key Arena
10/06 – San Jose, CA @ HP Pavilion
10/10 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center
10/13 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand
10/16 – Phoenix, AZ @ US Airways Center
10/20 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center
10/24 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
10/27 – New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena
10/30 – Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center
11/01 – St. Louis, MO @ Scottrade Center
11/03 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center
11/10 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena
11/15 – Charlotte, NC @ Time Warner Cable Arena
11/17 – Atlanta, GA @ Philips Arena
TBA – Miami, FL @ TBA
Super Bowl XLVI Half-Time Show:
Game Characters Embarrassing Themselves on Facebook [Facebook]
You'll Suddenly Feel Awful About Jumping on Bowser's Head [Mario]
GameStop's Latest Deal Makes No Damn Sense [PS3]
Trash Collector: Introductions and Memphis Treets
Hey, so I’m Evan, and since this is a new thing, let me take a minute to explain what this column is and why it exists.
When I was 13, skinny and gangly, inexplicably wearing enormous Space Ghost (really, Brak) T-shirts, my mom worked at the Huntington, West Virginia Borders. At some point, she bought a Ramones compilation with her employee discount, and in short order, it was added to my listening rotation. A lot of people have those sudden epiphanies where something changes the way they think and feel about music. For me, one of the first was blasting the Ramones on an old boombox in my parents’ basement. I listened to it, it changed my life, I dove into punk rock. It’s the classic story of a kid obsessing over a movement that’s long gone.
And now, probably as a direct result of that compilation, I’m in love with trash. Music that’s immediate, doesn’t pull punches, is fast, propulsive, slack-jawed, manic, screaming, ridiculous, sludgy, lo-fi, and loud. Garage, psych, punk, shitgaze — anything that can evoke that same adrenaline rush I got from dropping the needle on The Clash’s Give ‘Em Enough Rope when “Safe European Home” blasted out of my Linens ‘N’ Things Crosley Stack-O-Matic’s speakers.
I keep coming back to that word “immediate.” And it’s a loose word, but it’s something like the measure of 0 to 60—how quickly the first moments of the album can incite excitement. “Safe European Home” is one of my favorite examples of the “immediacy” phenomenon. It opens with a single snare crash and then blasts into an enormous, distortion heavy power chord hook. And maybe it’s that idea that within the first moments of something, your mood can completely shift and your pulse can quicken with a few opening notes. Of course, it can’t just depend on a few moments—consistency is obviously important—but if that opening feeling can last for an entire album, even through the “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” ballads, it’s an amazing thing. It’s a quality shared by King Khan, Johnny Thunders, Richard Hell, Jay Reatard, Ty Segall, John Dwyer, Nina Hagen, Hasil Adkins, and a whole mess of people who make incredible, exciting music. Obviously, immediacy isn’t limited to these things—it’s found in arena rock, hip-hop, soul, and pretty much every other genre (okay, maybe not anything Garfunkel-based). But for as long as I’ve been obsessing over it, I’ve always been most excited by the immediacy of trash.
The point: This monthly column is my love letter to trashy rock’n’roll– those artists, albums, and songs that are immediate, sloppy, and satisfying. To start out, I’m going to dig into some recent releases from Memphis bands.
–
Let’s take a step back. One of my mom’s co-workers at Borders was this guy Nathan. He convinced me to buy Please Kill Me and planted the seeds of early Rolling Stones and James Brown—he was apparently a college radio DJ and was referred to (either by himself or by others) as the “King of Rock.” He was an art school student who threw these local punk shows. I think he helped book Fugazi when they played Huntington on their last tour. But he also put together the Punk Rock Prom in Huntington’s American Legion Hall, which was headlined by the Lost Sounds. If you didn’t already know from the ongoing reissue campaign, the band hailed from Memphis and was comprised of Rich Crook, Alicja Trout, and the late Jay Reatard.
It was put together shortly after I decided to dive headlong into punk, so I advertised that show like it was my job. I put up fliers, told everybody I knew about it, and looked forward to it for a couple months—really, I couldn’t focus on anything else. It was an incredible time. Here’s what I remember about the event itself: There was a kissing booth, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure was playing on a tiny TV in the corner, a bunch of my middle school friends were there, and this local band FüD opened, who wore cheap masks and chucked freshly made grilled cheese sandwiches into the crowd– they put napkins in the middle so they’d stick to the sole of your shoe.
Ultimately, the night ended early for me. After dork-dancing to about three Lost Sounds songs, I had to go. I was 14 and couldn’t drive myself, so I didn’t really have a say in it. But the biggest bummer of them all was the lack of a merch table at that show—I was really hoping to buy a CD, but to no avail.
Later, Nathan sent me a package full of punk CDs, including Black Wave, the Lost Sounds’ first album, as a thank-you for telling all of my pubescent friends about the show. I listened to it until it broke.
Black Wave, as its name obviously implies, had a bunch of ominous darkwave songs that emphasized spooky shit. I remember thinking that it sounded like what I thought the Misfits’ Walk Among Us would sound like– horror noir rock’n’roll. The first track that really grabbed me, that had that quality of immediacy, was “Plastic Skin”, a re-recorded cut of their debut 1999 EP. Last month, Goner reissued the melodramatic graveyard romp. On Black Wave, the production was significantly more slick, and Reatard’s singing was pretty smooth for the most part. On the original cut– the one on the reissue– everything is ridiculously lo-fi and a 19-year-old Reatard unleashes a series of demonic screams. But it’s that opening moment, a slow guitar growl, that instigates the first tinges of excitement. The feeling only grows as the growl busts into an infectious hook anchored by Reatard’s strained howling. That debut 7” is an expert practice in lo-fi darkwave trash and essential listening.
Lost Sounds were only around for a little over five years. Reatard obviously gained notoriety as a solo artist, Trout has been in several bands, and Rich Crook made some great records as Lover!. But this 7” is an excellent document of their earliest stuff. “Don’t Bother Me” has Trout screaming with the same bite as Reatard over some Jem synths, sludgy guitars, and ominous noise. “What’d I Say” and “Lost and Found” are both under two minutes long and bash through the low fidelity with excellent hooks and vicious, guttural vocals. The reissue is five bucks and completely worth it.
The day after the Prom, Nathan sent out a mass e-mail saying somebody had stolen his guitar from the show. He suspected it was a member of the Lost Sounds since they hadn’t been paid what they were promised. It’s probably safe to infer that it was stolen by the shit stirrer who would later get in the habit of smashing disco balls at European rock clubs. But hey, it could’ve been anybody.
–
But that’s what was happening in Memphis over 12 years ago. Last month, Southpaw Records (a label to watch) released C’est Bon!, the brand new long-player by Memphis garage punks Useless Eaters. (Semi-related: They were friends of Reatard’s and toured with him, Nobunny, Hunx & His Punx, and Box Elders in 2009.) The band was started by Seth Sutton as a one-man recording project, and it developed into a full live band. Sutton and co. are ridiculously prolific — this is their third LP, they’ve put out a handful of singles, and they’ve got a compilation out, all since 2009.
This is my favorite thing they’ve done. It’s probably already implied, but the album is (secret word!) immediate. “Receiver (Drop The Bomp)” opens the thing with a fun, repetitive power chord drive, accompanied by the titular yell: “DROP THE BOMP.” And the album has range– “Certain Doom” slows down, is led by an acoustic guitar, and forgoes the yelling in favor of a more reserved delivery. “At the Parkette” takes up a bright, frenetic guitar and a melody that could’ve jumped out of a Richard Hell song. “C’est Bon!” is under a minute of synth driven grooves.
The downside: the lyrics on the whole aren’t great (“all through the day, all through the night,/a music battle that I must fight” on “Certain Doom”). But honestly, it’s really hard to care. The only reason they’re noteworthy on “Certain Doom” is because the song is slow and quiet enough for them to stand out. Otherwise, on stuff like this, bands tend to bulldoze over their lyrics with drive and volume. And maybe that’s a total cop out as a listener, but for something like C’est Bon!, I’m not listening because I want something that’s lyrically deep or challenging. The Ramones, for example, had really simple lyrics that could evoke some pretty basic themes– mainly, love, drugs, and monster movies. “Pinhead” has one verse and three short chants. It’s extremely repetitive, but it totally works, because the Ramones, over anything else, made loud, fast rock’n’roll. And that’s why I like C’est Bon!: It’s breakneck, it’s got range, and it’s just so damn immediate. It gets trash off to a good start in 2012.
Evan Minsker writes for Pitchfork, eMusic, and lots of other people. He’s got a Twitter and a Tumblr. This month’s column is named after an album by King Louie & The Loose Diamonds – if you find a copy, buy it. He promises that subsequent columns won’t focus on his middle school wardrobe habits or the word “immediate” quite as much.
This is What Minecraft Looked Like on its Very First Day [Minecraft]
The Grammy Awards have a comedic legacy
When it comes to the Grammys today, we seldom think of comedy — unless it’s some on-stage incident such as Michael Portnoy (a.k.a. Soy Bomb) crashing Bob Dylan’s 1998 set or Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder bashing the awards show during his 1996 acceptance speech.
Still, year after year comedians — some of them also singers — take home a golden gramophone and join the ranks of legends including George Carlin and Steve Martin. In 1961, comedian Bob Newhart even bested the musical offerings to take the top Grammy prize of album of the year for his "The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart."
In 1959 the first comedic prize went to a rodent serenade by Ross Bagdasarian Sr. (better known as David Seville) called the "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" — yes, that chipmunk song (video below). The next year the prize went to Shelley Berman, who was the first comic to win a nonmusical comedy Grammy, for his 1959 album “Inside Shelley Berman.” In a Calendar piece looking at how the comedy category has changed over the years, Berman is quoted discussing the then-importance of the comedy album.
“There was a time when it was phenomenal, when it suddenly became a very important medium,” Berman says. “But TV took over, and the album performance lost its charm.” Today, he says, “I don’t think it’s in vogue — there are too many other ways to be seen and heard.”
A scan of the category reveals that plenty of comedy household names have won the award. Allan Sherman's novelty song “Hello Mudduh, Hello Faddah ” won in 1964, when the award went to a comedy performance, and Steve Martin's comedy albums "Let's Get Small" and "A Wild and Crazy Guy" won in 1978 and 1979, respectively. The last contained a rendition of Martin's comedy song hit "King Tut."
Today, as Deborah Vankin's Calendar piece notes, comedy is one of the smallest categories at the Grammys, with only 49 eligible submissions this year, compared with 760 for album of the year and 227 for rock album. The academy doesn’t solicit material, so submissions are the only way into the Grammys.
Entries are screened for eligibility, then voted on by the membership to cull five nominees. In comedy, anything that’s at least five tracks and 15 minutes long, and sold commercially — even if just online — can be considered for a Grammy.
This year only two musical comedy albums made the cut, "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Apocalypse," and the Lonely Island's "Turtleneck & Chain." Other nominees on the ticket are stand-up albums: Louis C.K.'s "Hilarious," Patton Oswalt's "Finest Hour" and Kathy Griffin's "50 & Not Pregnant."
Below, Yankovic parodies Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" from his new album:
ALSO:
Personal Playlist: Fred Armisen
Grammy Awards: Funny how the comedy category has changed
— Lily Mihalik
Photo: Members of the comedy hip-hop trio Lonely Island, including Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer. Credit: Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times
I Don't Remember Skyrim Being This Sexy [Cosplay]
Local GameStop Says It'll Show a PS Vita to Anyone, Pre-Order or Not [GameStop]
Work It Out, Fat Dog! [Open Thread]
Album review: of Montreal's 'Paralytic Stalks'
There are admirable qualities to Kevin Barnes. The sometimes falsetto-voiced maestro behind of Montreal has, for 10 prior albums, shown a dedication to lo-fi craft that’s sometimes tantalizingly at odds with his giant, glam-rock ambitions. After all, just because it’s indie rock doesn’t mean it can’t use some ol’ showbiz pizazz. Yet “Paralytic Stalks” is downright exhausting.
“Your eyes are an agent of darkness,” Barnes teasingly sings on “Spiteful Intervention,” accompanied by a computer-enhanced backing choir. Yet the musical hall of mirrors Barnes evokes is headache-inducing. There’s about 20 seconds of a melodic fragment in “Spiteful Intervention,” but the rest is an overly chatty mix of cartoon rhythms, horror-film pianos and strained, unearned vocal aggression.
The entire album has an anything-goes, junkyard approach to orchestral pop, missing the more pointed dips into R&B brought to 2010’s Jon Brion-assisted “False Priest.” Barnes sings of something that’s “terrorized his psyche” on “We Will Commit Wolf Murder,” a mismatch of spooky atmospheres and folksy woodwinds, but the songs are filled with so many half-formed ideas that his attempts at darkness just elicit shrugs. “Dour Percentage,” a groove-less hippie journey, is graced with a tacked-on, soft-rock flute, while “Ye, Renew the Plaintiff” is a confounding mix of dead-end guitar solos and aimless “la-la’s,” adding up to nearly 9 minutes of tensionless racing.
Worst of all, however, is “Wintered Debts,” the downtrodden acoustic rambler-turned-Vaudevillian strut that sets off a cringe-inducing grand finale to the album. The final three tracks clock in at more than 28 minutes (“Exorcismic Breeding Knife” is seven and a half minutes of violin torture), and by the time Barnes sings of slipping in his own vomit, the audience may be asking a question Barnes had already posed: “What is the function of this ego sickness?”
of Montreal
“Paralytic Stalks”
Polyvinyl
1 star (Out of four)
ALSO:
Personal playlist: Fred Armisen
Album Review: Sharon Van Etten's 'Tramp'
Album review: Paul McCartney's 'Kisses on the Bottom'
— Todd Martens
